#01-"Subtalk" is this to speak in low voice, is to say these unmentionable desires to us to the ear, is to speak without being heared, is the voice of a secret society who tries to go out to the light, "subtalk" is the need to express these more primitive & more unpardonable desires.”Subtalk” is the expression of a Subway of life.
James always thought he was not ill, he use to live alone with his 90 years mumy, disconected from reality smoking 20 cigarretes a day, living in a tiny little dirty room at mummy’s home…. and looking at TV as his only hobby.... sorry not the only... he loved to follow people ....
Yesterday he went out of home ... and walked around lower east side, drinking a big Coke... looking for somebody... maybe looking for you... just for fun or just to kill... a fun way to spend the day.... he is bored of life, bored of people, bored of TV, he is a lonely bored soul, but he is not alone, he didn’t realize I was also following him with my camera….
When he was a child some phsiquiatric doctors told his mumy that the boy had a dangerous illness... and he should follow special program against obsessions in a clinic too expensive, so he stood at home with mummy, nobody pay attention to it... and he growed with mental distortion.... Camouflaged between the multitude, he feels like "nomal" with his obsessive thoughts, listening to music in his Ipod, seemingly a normal person...
Today he is happy....he found a new victim... now he is following her.....he went to the subway station...the uggly man of tha cabin typed in his keyboard....”Oh Shit! this fucking computer has frozen again!”.... he passed throught following her…..and didn't realize what was happening.....there was nobody at the station...only we three....
Lorena is thenew victim, she was a good girl going downtown B train to go home exhausted after a long working day at B+H... happy to come back home, but she didn’t notice that she was selected to be killed this rainy day...she went backstairs to catch the train…..James was waiting beside a pilar... he also will take the B train....me too! How exciting!
Silence…..waiting the train the both,the girl and James, side by side looking in front the subway wall.....subtalking with this stranger...he asked “do you know what time is it?...nice wheather isn't it?...I like rainy days”.......silence..... they didn't see me at their backs with my camera….setting the best exposure ….
B train is coming.... he is sweating….so nervous…she feels something is gonna happen..she doesn’t know what to do..…she looks at him and he smiles.......it's the moment.... he tries to push her to the train.....he want another victim….he is hungry of death…..but he doesn't know I'm beside him....for long time I'm photographying him..in a photo project about serial killers…following killers…following victims… .. and I could never stand people like this .....the B train arrives!... and I push him to the train rails......Ops! sorry!
.James tried to cath the wall...he left his hand print...nobody did nothing.....nobody heared the scream.....just didn't listen it because they always use headphones of its Ipod.... I'm, happysometimes there is justice, photo justice... the girl took the B train.... she realized I was his angel! and said me .....thanks you are a good man! And I took a photo of her….
Ummmm ......it's a beautiful day and good wheather... I'll will eat some fast food and I'll take a yellow cab to go home.... today no more photos.......…you know.......... I knew James had this terrible obsession ...as me….we actually met long time ago at the meeting group…...this stupid psychiatric didn’t realize I also had a dangerous obssession ….. PHOTOGRAPHY! ...but in fact I was like him…I’m also a serial killer and I could never stand serial killers who kills little girls... neither racism….neither sexism....and I followed him armed with my camera... armed with my dangerous obssession……looking for the last shot of the day…going home… in my brain it sounds this beautifull song “I’m singing in the rain…I’m singing in the rain…what a glorious feeeliiiiing.”…I adore Kubrick! …my photography project has another photo… now I just have to wait for the next one….til Tuesday, I have a meeting with Andreas….